Patton loooves his new shades. But for real, I have seen people (mostly geezers) walking their dogs around the neighborhood with real dog sunglasses on. They have UV protection, fog-proof and shatterproof. What the heck?

For your entertainment, here is a glimpse into my marriage:

Me: You know we've been together 5 years now?

B: Yeah, that's my longest relationship. Usually I mess them up long before 5 years.

Me: You have, but I'm legally bound to you.